So… my own honor was called out today.

My own family demanded to know what happened to my Blackberry Curve. I had asked “Why? What’s up?” and got the “Oh… you could give it to one of us in the family or we could sent it to Vietnam” response. I found this odd because of a few factors:

1. My parents and my sister don’t like smartphones. They have always made fun of me for my love of smartphones. “Why is it like a mini-computer? Isn’t that foolish from the small screen size?” They never shared my passion of being able to have life prioritized all in my finger tips.
2. Most of the Vietnamese public has gone gone ga-ga over the iPhone so phones like Blackberries and other phones have gotten the backseat from how everyone there wants one. I’d assume my Blackberry would not be appreciated and well… It wouldn’t be cared for by someone who’d honestly kill for a good phone.

I had intended to give it to my cousin Sol, ’cause his Sony Ericsson P910a had not been to kind to him with dropping text messages and other. I like being charitable to Sol, because to me… He’s not just my cousin, but he’s one of the closest friends to me. So on mentioning my intentions of giving Sol my old Blackberry Curve 8310 so he could have a decent phone…

Apparently, thinking that Sol is like blood was bad form. My family decided to remind me that even cousins, aunts, and uncles can’t be trusted and the schism they had with my uncle and aunt back in the day… I have told them that Sol and I have been friends through thick and thin… but that got me into the “You’re a foolish idiot” mess.

Maybe I was from my past covered in the sins of my foolish choices… Maybe I still am from the fact I am willing to climb mountains to become a full fledged pharmacy student. Maybe I am a fool for being so kind to a world that has had enough mercy to let me live. Maybe I am an even bigger fool to give my own life even if it meant that my friend could live just another day… In my opinion, I owe this world a big favor and I haven’t paid my dues so I don’t mind this “foolish” path. I know that this path is one that only a beggar would choose… but for me, it absolves me of my flaws from the past. It makes me happy that I have to fight hard to go further, because that is how life is to be!

So the ultimate result… Comparisons to peers I can “never surpass” and I will never succeed to anything. My charity is “misguided” and it will get me “killed”. That ended on the sour note of “Charity is a lie… it doesn’t lead to anything good”. Maybe that’s a cynical view of life… but for me… I believe that sometimes charity is the one sign that I haven’t given up on this cruel and ugly world.

Mark my words and maybe my grave… Charity is something I believe in and Sol will get my Blackberry! I will not die with the name of “Faithbreaker”.